Why the most important work happens before an attorney gets involved
By Corey Vertich, Uhler Vertich White Advisors
Estate planning is some of the most personal work I do with the families I serve. It’s also one of the hardest to start, because it asks you to sit with questions most people would rather not think about:
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- What happens to the people I care about when I’m gone?
- Have I done enough?
- Will they be okay?
Those questions touch on love, responsibility, mortality, and legacy all at once. And because they do, many people would rather avoid estate planning entirely or rush through it just to check the box. I don’t let my clients do either.
I’ve been doing this work for a very long time, and the families who end up with the strongest plans are the ones who sit with those hard questions rather than push past them. That’s what I’m here for; to guide you through the process and make sure nothing important gets left unsaid.
Many of you have experienced this firsthand with UVWA. This article is a chance to share a little of the thinking behind that process, why I start where I start, and why the work we do together looks the way it does.
Estate planning is also a big topic (too big for a single article). So, over the coming months, we’ll walk through our approach in a three-part series. This first piece is about where we always begin: with your values and your family.
One Question That Shapes Everything
Before we open any documents, and before we talk about trusts or tax strategies or beneficiary designations, I ask one question:
“What impact do you want your inheritance to have on those you care about?”
We spend as much time on that question as you need. I never rush it, because the answer shapes everything we build together.
What I’m listening for there goes beyond dollar amounts or account numbers. I’m listening for what matters to you, what worries you, and what you hope for the people who will carry on after you. That’s the foundation.
Where Your Answer Takes Us
Part of the impact your inheritance will have depends on whether the people receiving it understand your intentions. That’s why our next step is to talk about the most important people in your life:
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- How are they with money?
- How is their relationship with their spouse?
- Do they have children?
- What does their life look like day to day?
These might seem like unusual questions for a financial conversation, but they’re exactly the details that determine whether a plan will work the way you intend.
A couple whose daughter is financially disciplined and established in her career needs a very different structure than a couple whose son is going through a difficult divorce. A family with grandchildren in three different states has considerations that a family down the street from one another does not.
The plan we’ve built for you reflects your family specifically, with all its complexity and character. That depth of understanding is what allows me to recommend structures and strategies that actually fit, rather than ones that just look right on paper.
Related: Explore our Financial Planning Services
Why Most Families Don’t Talk About Their Estate Plan
In my experience, many parents who are leaving behind an estate do not discuss their plans with the next generation. I respect that choice. Every family is different, and there are valid reasons for it.
We know that the average financial windfall, including inheritances, is spent within 17 months. We also know that roughly two-thirds of parents don’t feel their children will handle an inheritance well. Those are the parents who typically worry about their children’s financial habits or about creating conflict between siblings, and they tend to keep their plans private.
But for the families who can have this conversation, I encourage it strongly. Some of you have had that conversation with your children already, and I’ve been part of it. I’ve helped families find the words, keep focus, and get through the parts that feel uncomfortable. Others have chosen not to, and that’s a decision we’ve made together thoughtfully.
When parents do share their thinking with the next generation, something often shifts.
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- The inheritance stops being a surprise that shows up one day and starts being something the family can prepare for together.
- Children who understand why the plan is structured a certain way are far more likely to honor the intentions behind it.
- Children are also less likely to feel blindsided, confused, or resentful about decisions they never had context for.
It can be as simple as sharing what you value and why you’ve made the choices you’ve made. Most families are surprised by how much lighter they feel afterward. The fear going in is almost always that the conversation will be awkward or create tension. What tends to happen instead is that parents feel relieved to have said it out loud, and children feel trusted.
If this is something you’d like to explore with your family, it’s a conversation I’m always happy to be part of.
When “Equal” and “Fair” Aren’t Always the Same Thing
When I ask clients what impact they want their inheritance to have, the answer is almost never “I want everyone to get the same number.” It’s usually about what each person needs.
Still, one of the most common assumptions in estate planning is that everything should be split equally among your heirs. It feels fair, and in many cases, it is.
However, equal distribution doesn’t always serve every family member the way you’d hope. When circumstances differ, sometimes treating people the same is what creates the problem.
One of our more complex plans involved a brother and his sister who own multi-generational property in another state. They want to pass it to the sister’s two daughters. The instinct might be to leave the property to both daughters equally and let them figure it out, but co-ownership of a single piece of property is, in my experience, the best recipe for family dysfunction.
Instead, we spent a significant amount of time understanding each daughter’s relationship with the property. One daughter has made it her home. The other uses it as a place to vacation with her family. Those are very different lives built around the same piece of land, and a 50/50 split would have ignored both.
We guided the family through the conversation about what each daughter actually needed, then engaged the right professionals to divide the property into separate parcels and get independent appraisals. Each daughter received a piece of the land that reflected her life and her use of it; and the appraisals ensured the overall distribution was fair, even though the individual parcels looked quite different.
This is the kind of planning that only works when you start with the people. The legal structure made sense because we understood the family first.
Me, You, and Your Attorney
Some of you already know this, but I think it’s worth saying plainly: we don’t send you to the attorney on your own.
We go with you, as part of the team. We guide the conversation, ask questions, pitch in with ideas, and double-check to help ensure all the work is done properly. Your only job is to meet with us and the attorney, review the documents, and sign.
We take this approach because an attorney’s role is to draft the documents that carry out your wishes. It doesn’t include figuring out what those wishes are, making sure they account for every member of your family, and coordinating the financial picture behind them. That’s the work we do together before the attorney ever gets involved, and it continues long after the documents are signed.
The Plan Works Because the Purpose Is Clear
Everything in your estate plan traces back to the answer you gave me when I asked what impact you want your inheritance to have. Every structure, every decision, and every conversation with your attorney grew out of that conversation.
Because we know that answer, the plan can adapt as your family grows and circumstances shift. When something changes, we have the context to adjust thoughtfully rather than reactively.
If anything here sparked a question, or if something has changed in your family that might affect the plan we’ve built, let me know. This is exactly the kind of conversation I’m here for.
Key Takeaways:
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- Why does estate planning often feel difficult to start? Because it asks you to think about what happens when you’re not here anymore. That’s an emotional conversation, not just a financial one, and it deserves to be treated that way.
- Should I talk to my family about my estate plan? If you can, yes. Most families avoid this conversation, but those who have it tend to leave behind plans that work better for everyone involved.
- Why do I need my financial advisor and attorney involved in estate planning? An attorney drafts the documents, but as your financial advisor who knows your family and situation, we can guide the conversation, ask the right questions, and help make sure the plan reflects what you actually want.
Not yet working with Uhler Vertich White? If you’d like to learn more about how we approach estate planning for the families we serve, we’d welcome the chance to talk.
Every investor’s situation is unique, and you should consider your investment goals, risk tolerance and time horizon before making any investment. Prior to making an investment decision, please consult with your financial advisor about your individual situation.
The foregoing information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but we do not guarantee that it is accurate or complete, it is not a statement of all available data necessary for making an investment decision, and it does not constitute a recommendation. Any opinions are those of J.Corey Vertich and not necessarily those of Raymond James.
You should discuss any tax or legal matters with the appropriate professional.